Secrets of relationships: what men and women hide

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In a representative survey, the online dating agency Elitepartner identified the secrets that relationship partners often hide from each other.

The results show that six out of ten people given intentionally hide something from their better half.

The most common reservation is when one or both find another person attractive – and when there are doubts about the relationship.

You should not keep any secrets from your partner. At least that’s what they say. A new study by online dating agency Elitepartner shows that many couples still don’t tell their better half about everything. According to this, six out of ten people deliberately hide something in their relationship.

In the representative survey, the online portal had a total of 4,000 pairs answering questions. 59 percent of them have secrets from their partners. Only 44 percent of women and 37 percent of men said they had not withheld anything from their partners.

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But what topics do such riddles revolve around most often? The Elitepartner team also wanted to know this from the respondents. The results: Most of the time, couples don’t tell each other when they find another person attractive. Nearly one in five mentioned this in the survey, although men were 23 percent more likely than women (17 percent). Doubts about one’s relationship are ranked second among the best kept secrets. 17 percent of both genders reported that they hid these fears from their partner.

Apparently, women often quarrel with their partner’s behavior – and don’t tell him or her about it. Every sixth person sometimes finds their partner awkward behind closed doors. Only ten percent of the male respondents said this. When it comes to money, according to the survey, both sexes hide the same amount from each other: every seventh person stated that they don’t always tell the truth about their spending.

Men have more secrets when it comes to sex

On the other hand, in bed, men are more discreet. One in five hides the fact that they watch pornography from time to time. For women, this percentage is only five percent. Men also appeared to be less open about their sexual preferences: 14 percent of them said they had unspoken desires in this area. For women, it was also significantly lower at just six percent.

According to the study, how many secrets couples have about each other and which ones also depends critically on how long they have been together. The data from the survey shows: The topics prohibited in a partnership decrease the longer the relationship lasts. On the other hand, couples who have only been together for a short time have secret doubts about their relationship.

What the survey also indicates is that unmarried couples seem to keep more secrets about each other than married couples. And those who are happy with their own relationship generally have little to hide: dissatisfied partners frequently report that they have doubts about their relationship (in 34 percent of cases) or that they find someone else attractive (in 32 percent of cases).

Before you draw the wrong conclusions: Elitepartner psychologist Lisa Fischbach stresses that secrets in a relationship aren’t automatically bad. “The quality of the partnership is not reflected in sharing your entire (inner) life with your partner,” the expert says. “A certain level of secret is completely normal, as long as the partner’s trust is not betrayed.” According to her, couples should learn to distinguish between what a partner should know – and what information can only harm the relationship.

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