Why travel is a crash test for relationships
Vacation is the best time of the year? Not always, especially not for couples. A third of breakups occur immediately after the summer vacation. If the divorce is already pending, it can also be combined with a private flight.
hWalking into the sunset holding hands, sipping a cocktail together on the balcony overlooking the sea, looking into each other’s eyes, and of course it’s time for all the long conversations you’ve always wanted to have: vacation together, there’s more than sure couples form together and create memories. The question is: which one?
Stupidity is that often the waves aren’t light, but your partner’s saw snoring that accompanies summer nights. Or a soft click on the nail clipper when he clips toenails on the edge of the bed again. There are a lot of little things that get lost in everyday life, but get a spot in the spotlight on vacation.
Unfortunately, the annoying realization that the threshold for tolerance in a church (/temple/museum) is an entirely different threshold only comes on holiday, just like the awkward fact that your partner says “when do I-become-sausage” you speak English, and it just shows up there.
Many couples break up after vacation
Unfortunately, there are always idle moments when traveling. “That’s cool,” you think—but not if you use it to finally clear up some questions for which there is absolutely no time in everyday life. This applies even more if one person really wants to watch the sunset romantically, but the other finally wants to discuss the imbalance in the distribution of household chores.
Therefore, the holiday season follows the classic season. Statistically, a third of unhappy couples break up immediately after the summer holidays, and a third in the days after Christmas and New Year – the main winter holiday! – And the last third is distributed throughout the whole year. Maybe all those who can not afford a vacation?
By the way, this problem is not only known in Western cultures. Then the Japanese talked about the “Narita divorce”, named after the international airport outside Tokyo. Of course, this refers to couples who, after their first trip together, turn to their divorce attorney as soon as they arrive in Narita: You don’t want to spend another day in your life with this bully/this cow!
It sounds banal, but it is not: the first long trip together – preferably of an adventurous nature – should be planned before moving in together, getting married or any other serious undertaking. Compared to the cost of a divorce, this investment is a no-brainer.
-> Tip: Travel together for divorce
If the divorce is pending after the vacation period, it can also be combined with a trip: the Dutch company DivorceHotel (divorcehotel.com) offers 48-hour or weekend packages for divorce cases in a luxury hotel. Lawyers, mediators, psychologists, real estate agents, and accountants take care of all divorce matters, too during the weekend – check in on Friday as a couple, and go your separate ways after checking out on Sunday.
By the way, this was so successful that the show is available not only in Holland, but now also in the USA, Australia and Great Britain. On this last trip together, snoring was no longer a problem, because of course there are single rooms for the former partners. Maybe you should have done it this way?
The text is a chapter from the recently published book What You Thought You Never Wanted to Know About Travel by Françoise Hauser, Conbook Verlag, 256 pages, €9.95.