Relationship Questions: 5 Questions That Poison Your Relationship

Honesty is the best policy in a relationship. You should be able to ask yourself anything and say anything. This is still the cliché of many relationship counselors. But is this really true? Do you really have to be honest at all costs, or can you really ruin something in the relationship with a game of questions and answers?

American therapist Sarah Jones analyzed the behavioral patterns of people in a relationship. She’s sure there are terms and Asks give the relations can destroy. the magazine Organization and time management She turned those thoughts into seven questions you don’t think you should ask in a relationship. You can find these questions here.

Not giving an opinion: Of course, every relationship is individual. There are no relationship tips that are universally applicable to all relationships. Before applying the following tips, you should customize them according to your own relationship. When your partner realizes that your effort comes from the heart, it will be easier for you to deal with your problems.

“We are a perfect match!” A relationship cannot withstand this ideal forever. picture: Unsplash / Ryan Jacobson

1. Relationship question: “Why are you so lazy/selfish?”

This question is a personal attack on your partner. Someone treated like this He must continue to defend. So a fight begins where there should be no fighting.

Instead… you should issue a declaration of peace rather than a declaration of war. If your partner is currently lazy and your opinion is wrong, You don’t have to put up with it.

But it’s probably a sore point between the two of you and it should be treated as such. Explain to your partner What triggers the behavior in you. some examples:

  • “I feel neglected by you.”
  • “I need your support, I can’t do the housework on my own.”

2. Relationship question: “How about finally…?”

Your question implies that you want to make a positive change in your partner. This is understandable and commendable. but that It can be received less positively than intended.

Instead…focus instead on the positive aspects of your partner. Even if you want to change something in its appearance, insults are not the best solution. Instead of saying, “You can change your hair style too,” say, “With short hair Your face will look better.”

3. Relationship Question: “Why don’t you do what I want?”

This question is an accusation and an expression of Despair same time. By doing this, you are telling your partner that you have already given up trying to save your relationship. According to therapists, the word “never” should be avoided.

Instead… it’s not just accusations I’m messages. Offer to fulfill your partner’s wishes. A nice sentence is, for example: “What can I do to make you happy today?” This does not guarantee that your partner will understand what you are trying to say. But that’s how you play ball with him. Give him/her a chance to understand your needs.

4. Relationship question: “Why are you so upset?”

You will likely get this question in a file A state of intense emotion place. When your partner is angry, this is probably the worst time to criticize the anger. Appeal to “calm down” does not help anyone in this situation.

Instead… take your partner’s feelings seriously and try to understand, Why is he or so annoyed. It is important in a relationship that every emotion is heard and has its space.

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Every relationship requires work. picture: Natalie_magic / Getty Images via Canva

5. Relationship question: “You don’t want to break up with me?”

The choice of words is very important here. In a relationship on shaky ground, The word “separation” should not be used. Or even “divorce”. Because then the word cannot be taken out of the other person’s head. It is very difficult to defuse the situation again.

Therapist Sarah Jones also knows that the person who says the word “breakup” for the first time is the person From which parting emerges at the end.

Instead… the words “breakup” and “divorce” should be taboo. It shouldn’t even be used in jest. Instead of thinking about breaking up, you should talk about a fight Focus on reconciliation. The closer you come to a mental compromise, the easier it will be for the two of you to get along.

You shouldn’t ask these questions in your relationship

Your relationship should be a safe haven and not drain you mentally. Should you notice that you They are more unhappy than happy That both of you are not on the same page and are putting each other on, it might be time to break up.

In most cases, though, one of you Just a bad day. Together you can fight bad moods or difficult times.

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