Loving the Messy Person: About the Socks in the Kitchen

Have you ever found a sock on the dining table? I m truly. Was she wearing? I think so. I love my boyfriend but he is the only one The messiest person the world. Over the years I have managed to develop a strategy to deal with it. That’s what today’s REALationshipTalk column is all about.

Simple disclaimer: For ease of reading, I write from my (female) perspective on my relationship between the sexes. Of course, all concepts of genders and relationships are welcome to feel like dealing with them as well.

Men are messy and women clean up all the time – huh?

I hate being a stereotype. Unfortunately, when it comes to the system, my friend and I do just that Mario Barth’s idea of ​​relationships, That people of my generation really hate it a lot. “Do you know where my girlfriend puts the remote control?! Oven Ferencihr.” Haha. Well, due to the flat screen, our remote control is not on the TV, but rather in its fixed place. And she’s not on the couch, as my boyfriend regularly leaves her.

Reassuringly, I’m the only woman in my circle of friends who It fulfills these unspeakable gender cliches. In fact, I know more women who have said they are more messy with their partner than the other way around. A friend describes herself as a “bastard in a relationship”. Like my friend, you often don’t even realize that something needs cleaning.

So it’s not about sex, it’s about Just personal. There are neat and untidy people. It seems that more and more pairs are forming, as they both belong to the other team. Is this a coincidence or purely pragmatic?

My personal horror mode. Photo: Pexels/Erik Mclean

The Sixties Housewife In Me…

Perhaps it belongs in the category of “opposites attract” – or untidy people have developed a strategy to be able to provide cleaning assistance. Because if you live with someone like me, It is almost always at the Mama Hotel. I don’t know what Freud would say about this comparison, but I fear nothing good.

So for over seven years I’ve been removing socks from the dining table, remote controls from the sofa, various espresso cups from the balcony, and emptying the ashtray, which I don’t use as a smoker. I was angry about this for a while. “I’m not the damned cleaning lady”, I scolded at a touch of willful feminism. The problem is: I actually don’t mind having to clean all the time. On the contrary: I love Rather he is.

This is also why we don’t get help with cleaning. When I asked my friend about the uneven distribution of work at home, he replied that he was more than willing to let paid cleaning assistance take over his share. Take that wind from my sails. Otherwise, how should I procrastinate? When should I actually sit on my master’s thesis? Listening to podcasts for hours? There are days when I wake up and think “Wow, I’m going to clean the bathroom today.” Ranking is my health!

messy person
People like me need the system to relax. picture: Pexels / Cottonbro

When organized people love messy people

When my friend once asked what he likes about me, he replied that I arranged his life. Of course, this was only related to the socks on the first level (at least I hope so). Chaotic people and order are very different characters. This passes throughout life. Some fly high, enjoy the moment, don’t think about tomorrow. The order makers bundle the scaffolding together and pick up the mess if it leans too far from the window. I think that’s exactly why so many mismatched couples find each other.

Of course, sooner or later, messy people also have to learn to take responsibility for their own four walls. But sometimes they just need a little support: “I want to go up Don’t be someone to clean it up yetThe friend said when we discussed the matter. “But I also note how long this editing process takes.” On the other hand, it helps asking fanatics like her boyfriend and I to let all five kids get straight from time to time.

And then, of course, there is also something that is part of everyday life besides keeping things tidy. After all, my friend regularly drives me around the city, paints the living room with me for the hundredth time, collects kilograms of cat litter on the stairs and builds bookshelves that are too curved for me. In this way, each couple finds their own balance. Without his chaotic, spontaneous, fun-loving nature, my life might be sparkling clean and perfectly organized – but it’s also really dull. That’s why I’m happy to be with a messy person. Because sometimes he has to remind me to live in the here and now and that everything doesn’t always have to be “perfect”.

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