As a sexuality expert and couples therapist, Paula Lambert, 47, helps many women and men approach their sexuality more openly and freely. Topics like sexual freedom and love play a major role here – two things that are important and should be closely related, especially in marriage.
Now Paula Lambert also works as a wedding speaker and has already had the honor of marrying a married couple. What is important in a wedding speech and how the wedding night should be approached, she reveals exclusively in a GALA interview.
Paula Lambert in an interview with GALA
Gala: As a sex expert and couples therapist, you’ve made it your mission to help people with sexual matters and how to treat each other – even as a speaker at a wedding, you get to know couples personally and get to know them very well. How did you come to do this job as well?
Paula Lambert: I have the podcast “The Podcast of Failure,” which talks a lot about relationship problems, and during that time I’ve thought about what the other side would look like and what it would be like when I had my own opposite running. So the beginning of a relationship together, not the end. This way I can give people very direct advice about what to look for and how to do it in their relationships. Then it got to the point where my former neighbor, National Volleyball player Robert Crumb, asked me if I could marry his friends because they were fans. Since my dear friend is the speaker at the wedding, she helped me a bit with the preparation. But in the end, as is my way, I completely deviated from my protocol at the wedding, and when the Flower Girls, and then the Bride and Groom, walked in, I immediately began to weep. It was very emotional and because I deviated from my own protocol, it was also very personal.
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There are speakers at weddings who do not have a relationship with people. It is important to me that I have a close relationship with the newlyweds in this short moment, because it is a very trusting moment. After all, the couple will remember this day for a very long time.
How do you prepare for married couples and wedding speeches?
The couple just described was my first, and I first met up with the two for an initial conversation and with my best friend so that I could get a more general picture of the couple. Then I thought about what analogy might suit them as people and how they would like to lead their relationship. But in the end, I actually gave a different speech than the one I had prepared. But the basic message remained the same.
What do you look for in a wedding speech and what makes the speech good for you?
I think the wedding speech should be a guide to everything that comes after it. So it can’t just be flatter. The letter should also give some key points that the couple can use as evidence. That’s what always bothers me about registrants saying things they can’t mean because they don’t even know people. In addition, the wedding speech should be funny, but it should also explain how to lead a partnership.
I think the wedding speech should be a guide to everything that comes after it.
What do couples need to know about free weddings and who are they especially suitable for?
The free wedding is especially suitable for all couples who want a truly personal experience and want to turn this process into a dream that would otherwise be a very bureaucratic work. And I must say that people should also have some money to spare, because that costs money. Anyone who wants to experience and not just a procedure is advised to get a free wedding.
How do you identify couples and how do you strike the right tone for couples and weddings?
I always have an idea of how things should go, but then I just react for now and let the mood and situation guide me a bit. Otherwise, it quickly becomes harsh and impersonal. This is exactly what I want to avoid.