Relationship Saving: How It Works (Maybe) Again
It is normal for a relationship to have problems. Sometimes you are sure: separation is the only solution. But sometimes it is not so easy and you want to save the relationship by any means necessary. What can you do next and what should you leave alone?
By Sarah Tavakoli
I fell in love for the first time when I was 15 years old. He was at my school, graded me three degrees and smiled at me during breaks when I passed him. That was enough at the time and the butterflies in my stomach were flying in all directions. We got together and butterflies stayed for six years until we realized that something wasn’t quite right anymore. The first real crisis. But the breakup was too violent for both of us, especially after such a long time. So we decided to try everything again to save the relationship. If you succeed? After that we were together for another two years. Not anymore.
Save or end the relationship?
Sometimes things happen in a partnership that can no longer be compensated. Of course, each person has to decide for himself when this point will be reached. If you are not good for each other and constantly hurt each other, you have to admit it. Then, the best tips won’t help anymore, and breaking up may be the only way to feel happy again. But sometimes it’s just that you’re a bit apart from each other, you’re arguing a lot about the same things, or you’re just breathing. Even if someone cheats, it’s never too late. The most important thing is that both sides are willing to change things up and fight for the relationship.
5 tips that can help save your relationship
1. Talk about feelings without blaming each other
If you’re not comfortable seeing your partner’s ex-girlfriend once in a while, talk about it. Don’t wait another six months to let go of these pent-up feelings all at once. Also pay attention to your choice of words: try to explain how you feel and what you think it could be. Blaming your partner rarely makes them understand your point of view.
2. Do more together
Set aside specific days to do nice things together. Especially when you live together, everyday life quickly returns and gets involved quality time falls short. For example, plan to cook together once a week, go out for drinks on Friday nights, or go on a special trip on the weekend. Even a few days off and a break from everyday life can work wonders and you two can have a good time together again.
3. Make concessions
You are in a partnership – so not only your needs and desires are relevant, but also the needs and desires of another person. You should always keep this in mind. But: be honest with yourself. You don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
4. Leave space
In a relationship, you are still a separate person with different views, traits, and interests. Just because you want to get up early on the weekend doesn’t mean you can’t ask your partner to do the same if they just want a good night’s sleep. Accept your differences and focus on the things you have in common. Keyword: compromise.
5. Keep your distance
Opinions differ as to whether the break in the relationship saves the situation or actually distances one from each other. How it worked for me: Set a time period for a break and explain what is and is not allowed during that time. Because of the distance, I realized what I really want, and what I definitely don’t want to go on like this and that I really miss my boyfriend.