If you want to save your relationship, the first thing you should do is figure out what you want. Why is this important and how to do it.
Saving a relationship: Not every argument is a disaster
If you want to save your relationship, you must first realize that disagreements in a partnership are normal – and even necessary from time to time. A study found that conflicts are less harmful to partnerships when there is enough positive interaction. The ability to solve problems depends constructively on the ability of the partners to talk to each other.
If you want to save the relationship, think on the positive side
To save the relationship, it may be helpful to remember the happy times together:
- If you are often plagued by doubts, look at the photos together and think: what do you value in your relationship?
- if you can List of pros and cons to write. It can help you regulate your thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind that you may not be aware of many things that are taken for granted in your partnership.
- Another tip: Talk to friends who know both of you. Oftentimes, their outside perspective can help you understand the other side better.
Saving the relationship or not: What are your goals?
As research shows, it is now more difficult than ever to maintain the same social relationships throughout our lives: we are restricted to different places for our study, training or work – and the same is true for our friends and partners. In fact, behind the partnership conflict is often the question of whether the goals of the individual are compatible with the partner. Often one of them feels the need to back off.
If this is the case in your relationship, two things are especially important:
- You need to be clear about what you want for yourself.
- Then, extensive communication with your partner is important so that you can make the best possible compromises.
Sometimes a relationship can’t be saved
It doesn’t always save the relationship. Separation may be the best decision if the following factors apply to you:
- If you are permanently and in related subjects (from the common place of residence to Desire to have children or sexuality) they have very conflicting opinions where both of you have a very strong point of view, it is even more difficult.
- If yours Telecommunications It had already taken on a very mischievous and insulting tone.
- If one of the partners cheated and that trust destroyed.
However, sometimes, saving the relationship can also mean a temporary break during which both partners can realize what is really important to them. love affairs So important to well-being that stopping it can have powerful psychological and physical effects.
Fulfillment of relationships and health
In their standard work, Social Psychology (Psychology Press, 3rd ed.), authors Smith and Mackey describe what distinguishes a romantic relationship from other human relationships:
- In a close relationship, one’s emotional state is greatly influenced by what the other does or how they are; This is called “emotional interdependence” in social psychology. A strong emotional bond develops.
- You reveal things about yourself in a relationship that others don’t know.
- You spend more time with your partner than you do with others.
- Your partner’s opinion has a powerful influence on your thoughts and behavior.
- Mutual sponsorship is especially rewarding in a partnership.
- You see your partner as part of your self-concept. This is referred to as “cognitive interdependence” and also includes, for example, joint planning for the future.
In a relationship, we have the opportunity to do fun things together, to express our sexuality, and to feel safe, valued and accepted. This not only makes us happier, but also makes us healthier. For example, one study showed that compared to people in troubled marriages, married couples are happier with those who are married Stronger immune system king.
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