A woman who realized she was bisexual while in a direct relationship with a guy has spilled the beans about how she decided to give up her swing lifestyle.
Rosie Kay – better known online as This Kinda Girl – gives advice to curious couples and singles on how to start non-monogamous relationships, and says she’s seeing more and more young people take the plunge.
On the podcast Later Dater, Rosie shared her own story of how she found her way as a slinger — and offered some advice for listeners who might want to do the same.
“Moral non-monogamy refers to a relationship in which both parties accept that sex or relationships take place outside the traditional relationship,” she began explaining the vague terms used in this lifestyle.
Rosie described how this can take different forms, such as when one person only finds other people to sleep in, or they both decide they want to try the hammock.
Rosie Kay realized she was bisexual when she was in a direct relationship (Photo: thiskindagirl2022/Instagram) Read more related articles Read more related articles
She continued, “Within a swinger relationship, both parties can have sex or be intimate with others, and swingers are usually emotionally exclusive in their established relationship; they tend not to form deep bonds with others.
After setting those guidelines, Rosie described how she started rocking herself ten years ago.
She added, “I realized when I was younger that I was bisexual, so I identify with that. And I wanted to explore that side of myself, but I didn’t want to jeopardize the relationship I had, I was in a relationship with a man.”
“So he had hinted at a few things, but it wasn’t as easy as just opening up about our relationship and having a threesome. I thought it was, but it really wasn’t.
Rosie is now a swinging coach for curious couples and singles (Photo: thiskindagirl2022/Instagram)
“Even though I identified as bisexual and though I wanted to be, I was utterly terrified of opening up about my relationship.
“I was everything men don’t want in a woman. I was clingy, I was insecure, I was jealous, I was so different than now. I thought if I opened our relationship I would ruin it.”
But after Rosie has taken a dip, she’s now celibate, attending swinger parties where she dates men and women, and running a company where she trains couples to do the same.
“I don’t think one person can sexually satisfy us for the rest of our lives, I don’t…I believe that through non-monogamous, lively, and open relationships, one can explore these different aspects of one’s sexuality in a safe and ethical way.”
“If your partner doesn’t like something, it doesn’t mean you should miss it, you should work together to find a way to meet your needs and theirs.
Rosie suggested that people don’t have to fall in love if they sleep with someone (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
However, Rosie admitted that couples are often nervous about seeking advice from her, with the partner often deflecting the charge from their secure monogamous lifestyle.
She advised that communication and agreement are key, as well as realizing that you don’t have to fall in love with someone you sleep with.
“Conquering couples are rock solid in their relationships, and they have the emotional connection they need,” she said.
“Swingers can often separate love and sex… I have sex with a lot of people because I’m a slinger and I meet a lot of people, and I don’t like them.”
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