Many people are nervous or have Fear of getting to know each other. The worry of losing contact after getting close is too great. But how long does the stage have to last before it becomes more dangerous? What is the best way to act and what mistakes should be avoided? We will help you through the preliminary stage to survive successfully.
When does the preliminary stage end?
The beginning of the introductory phase can be easily determined. It does not matter whether you will meet the new person through friends or mutual friends, through a Online dating app Or we met in a bar, the stage of getting to know each other begins with the first contact and the first approach. But how long should this stage last?so can talk about a relationship?
There is no basic rule about how long it should take to get to know each other and it varies from one species to another. Some couples talk about love at first sight and start spending time together after the first date, while others need a whole year to confirm their feelings. Basically it applies To listen to his heart And take feelings very seriously. If you both want something strong and feel right for both of you, go for it! In addition, the Getting to know each other does not end with the relationship. You two really only get to know each other during the time you spend together, and couples can rediscover each other even years later.
The four stages of getting to know each other
For most people, the goal of the introductory phase is to please the other, learn more about the other, and gradually approach. This can be done to achieve these goals Four-stage model By psychologists Heinz Heckhausen and Peter Gollwitzer.
The two distinguish between the following stages:
- Weight – It’s strange that you are mutually trying to find out as much information as possible about the other person. After all, you want to get an idea of whether you fit in together or if your interests differ from one another. After hours of chats, phone calls, and meetings, you can think about: Are you feeling alright? Can you imagine more? Is your stomach already tingling?
- to plan – It is especially helpful for people who are reserved or shy to plan appointments in advance. Places where you feel comfortable and safe often have more liberal dates and easy conversations. However, in a crowded bar with loud music, getting to know each other can be difficult.
- Represent – The brooding time is over and necessary measures must be taken. After thinking a lot about whether it would be appropriate and if you could imagine more, it was time to gather all your courage and attack. All too often, games of proximity and distance prevent us from taking the next step.
- classification – In the end it is important to evaluate the time it takes to get to know each other. If the stage is successful and you are feeling happy, then nothing stands in the way of a stable relationship. However, if you notice that it doesn’t really suit you, you should be honest and state it clearly.
After the recognition stage, comes the stage of falling in love. Here you get more information!
8 tips for a successful preparatory phase
First meetings in particular are often crucial to a shared future. Is the first impression wrong or is there too much Mis-understanding During conversations, it is often too late and interest quickly dissipates. with these 8 tips, The introductory phase can be prevented from becoming disappointing:
- be original – The most important thing is to always be yourself and not pretend. On the one hand, sooner or later the other person will see the real me, and on the other hand, you will quickly come across as inauthentic and superficial when you pretend. Since you want a relationship, you have to satisfy the other person for who you are.
- be patient – Everyone is different and needs a different amount of time to engage with new people. If it takes a little longer with the new swarm, you have to be patient and respect that. With a little time you can build mutual trust and the next step towards a relationship becomes easier.
- Do not make yourself dependent – Understandably, you crave love and affection, but you shouldn’t be completely dependent on the other person. This often creates pressure and restricts the other.
- set boundaries As mentioned, everyone has their own pace. That’s why you should also listen to your own pace and not do anything you might not be ready for. If the other person is interested in you, he will definitely understand and have the necessary patience.
- Have real conversations – Younger generations in particular are no longer familiar with spending hours on the phone and perhaps even sleeping with the receiver on. But WhatsApp is not the best way to get to know each other better. Without any gestures or facial expressions, there is plenty of room for interpretation and misunderstandings can quickly arise.
- Show curiosity and interest We often have a very clear picture of Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. This prevents us from getting to know better people who may not meet our expectations at first. Even if each conversation doesn’t become more, it still makes sense to show interest in the other person. By asking questions, you are signaling that you are interested in the other person’s life, and in this way any fears the other person may have can be alleviated.
- self love – The most important thing comes at the end: self-love. If you are not at peace with yourself, it is usually impossible to convince others of yourself. Lack of self-confidence or strong self-doubt alters us and makes us appear insecure. In order to give love, one must first love himself.
Conclusion: Patience from getting to know you to the relationship
Make your own No undue pressureWhen it comes to meeting new people. Everyone has their own pace and initial insecurities must be overcome by both peoples. It helps you stay yourself and show interest and appreciation for yourself. Our inner being appears mostly by itself, Whether the relationship seems right or wrong.