The duality of victim and perpetrator
It is currently broadcasting live from the courtroom as the actress and her ex-husband battle the strange and tragic never-ending War of the Roses in the next round. While Amber Heard, after fifteen months of marriage, had already promoted Johnny Depp from the image of the beloved movie pirate to the image of the perpetrator with allegations of domestic violence, he is now resolutely responding. Then she moans again, in an endless loop of toxic relationships from which it seems almost impossible to get out.
You can follow live how lovable stars, who appear so perfect and uncommon in their legendary cinematic movies, have become not only human. But so embarrassing that just watching it hurts. The novels presented in court could not be more black and white. It’s like a duel in the “big brother” house of the stars: the intimacy was yesterday. It is about guilt, atonement, and above all: the frustrated and disappointed soul. Above all, show who the villain is here. The court now to make a decision.
When love turns into hate
From a psychological point of view, toxic relationship patterns are often based on patterns of stimulation and interaction experienced in childhood and adolescence. The concept of “repetition compulsion” goes back to Sigmund Freud. As a result of socialization, the young child adopts problematic conflict resolution behavior from his father through what is called “learning from a model,” such as not showing emotions but preferring excessive demands, sadness and fear in the form of tantrums over things. The “Pirates of the Caribbean” star shows this behavior in videos of his private life. During the outbreak of violence, Johnny was reactionary, that is, he went back to an earlier stage of development, because Amber – perhaps only with silence or with a certain facial expression or vocal pitch – pressed exactly the buttons that pushed him: Triggers are the triggers that break the toxic world of recreating a person’s childhood As if he had traveled there in a time machine.
The big misconception is that rampage and drug use are still often confused with power by men like Johnny Depp! On the other hand, a young girl is more likely to be prepared to adapt to the desires and expectations of others, at which point she will later breathe out the turmoil, self-insecurity, and anger she had as a child suppressed at her partner or directed against herself—according to the toxic relationship pattern in “Come here, go.” Away” – the pattern of people with borderline personality disorder, which Amber Heard attests. Thus, in short, the psychological background to such emotional escalation. Both patients appear to have developmental shock, which undoubtedly stems from past experiences, is carried into the present, carried out on the loved one’s back and recurring compulsively in order to apparently bring fear and helplessness. The child is under control today. The misconception here is that repetition does not heal mental wounds, but rather opens and deepens old ones.
American couples therapist John Gottman describes patterns of behavior in relationships that fail as horrific knights. Such a horrific knight is an absolute cruel behavior and even contempt when it comes to a partner. Apparently, Johnny and Amber have long walked over each other on these doomsday horses. Quick fact check: Amber Heard, who is 20 years younger than Johnny Depp, wasn’t half a celebrity when I met her. She saw him as her dream partner, as well as being a career supporter. Her precarious self-esteem may be more than flattering that he left actress Vanessa Paradis, with whom he had a long-term relationship and two children, for her own sake. And people who seem to have it all—like Johnny Depp, a palatial home with a bunch of loyal servants in every corner of the world—often live in social isolation, despite many “good friends.” Your radius is limited to a handful of close people and the person you love. The more pressure the prospects put on amber. Both were subjectively insecure, risking everything, and deeply disappointed, because both of them aroused their deep fear of losing in the aforementioned situation from the compulsion of repetition.
Symptoms of narcissism
With star stature comes a strong sense of narcissism. In addition, there is a great deal of self-insecurity in private life – without the role of the immortal movie star, which Amber and Johnny “orchestrated” by demonstrating narcissistic force towards the emotionally closest person.
Typical for people with narcissism is to devalue a partner for their own psychological stability. Addiction as a problem-solving behavior among celebrities is almost the norm. In a video recording, Johnny Depp pats the furniture and is in poor impulse control. Amber? The fact that she suffers from BPD seems plausible in light of her passive-aggressive approach, going unnoticed to record Deb’s riots rather than pacifying him, and deliberately driving the camera into the victim role. Both are desperately searching for love and admiration. Both are not prone to criticism, but they can easily get hurt. They also mistake harmless harassment as dangerous attacks on their self-esteem.
Both show behavioral patterns of early childhood trauma. They both display strong narcissistic and acting personality traits and fight themselves, let’s call it: their weakness, in the other. It’s not like Pirates of the Caribbean, it’s in the past that with couples like these, “You’re not allowed to be happy.” “You are not worth anything.” “You don’t deserve love.” Insults that may have never been uttered but lived and passed on by unwary parents. Depp compared Heard’s demeaning behavior towards him to his mother’s and could not escape because this toxic relationship pattern was “normal” for him. Yes, confused with affection. God may not be able to help here, but psychotherapy can still help, as one thing is learned in dry training in a therapeutic relationship: the practice of self-acceptance and self-love thus establishing the foundation of the ability to love. The Amber Heard song was about breaking this toxic compulsion to repeat old beliefs through divorce. However, with little success, otherwise the last sentence in this love story wouldn’t be: And if they didn’t die, they’d still fight today.
Professor Mag D. Monica D. Philosopher and psychotherapist
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