Recognizing power games: 8 signs to look out for
in a healthy relationship Both partners are equal. If a man or a woman always has the upper hand over the other, this can eventually become a problem. You quickly find yourself in an imbalance of power running through it the control on one side and Accreditation On the other hand, toxic relationship waves are set. The exit is very difficult. You should pay attention to these signs from the beginning so that the imbalance of power does not establish in your relationship in the first place.
- Which one of you usually decides when to see each other?
- Does one of you always reach out first?
- Who among you decides what to do together?
- Which of you is likely to make concessions?
- Is there someone who criticizes others often?
- Who is likely to be the listener and who has the most say in conversations?
- Who Decides When (and How) You Have Sex?
- Did any of you set the terms of the relationship?
In a healthy balance of power in a partnership, it is difficult to answer questions with a clear answer. However, while some questions can be clearly attributed to one person and others to another, that is perfectly fine and There is no sign of an unhealthy imbalance of strength.
Shattering Power Games: You Can Do It
Because power and control Since the beginning of the relationship Between partners, care must be taken from the start. Once the imbalance of force establishes itself, it is very difficult to break the cycle. The ruler continues this way because the addict has let it happen to him for so long. If the second person changes their behavior, the controller often reacts as well misunderstanding It may even increase its controlling behavior to regain power.
Love and unbalanced power don’t go along in the long run. This is why it is so important for both partners to work from the very beginning of the relationship Connect their needs to each other And meet on an equal footing.
But once the imbalance of forces establishes itself, it is very difficult to get out of it. Address the problem openly, and try to find solution strategies together or get professional help if needed. at Couples Therapy You can learn specific resolution strategies for yourself that can help you push strength into the background and make love come back again.
Are there also positive power games in love?
Science has always known that love and strength go hand in hand. In addition to the behavior of toxic force in the relationships we just described, there is also something else Healthy power struggleswhich can be implemented in partnership.
Psychologist and couple therapist Wolfgang Krueger describes in his book “Love, Strength and Passion” (Herder Verlag) that the power struggle Fun and humorous traits It certainly can have a positive effect on the relationship. Basically, power struggles are nothing more than a sense of the limits of a relationship.
In a healthy relationship, there are both, according to Krueger: Strength and love. You don’t end up playing power games and come with a little wink instead of pure seriousness, it shows deeper connection. You know the other person and their limits better and also learn to communicate with your limits better, Krueger reveals in his book. Here you can shop “Love, Strength and Passion” from Wolfang Krugero.
Here are some examples of “healthy” power games in relationships:
- Magic instead of stress: If he doesn’t wash the dishes as he should, try not to grumble or stress. If he has the feeling that you want to change him and you just annoy him, he won’t change anything for sure. Instead, wrap it around your finger with your magic. Sometimes a sweet “please” sound louder than a sour “do it.”
- sweet revenge: fitness, partying with friends, gambling with colleagues. Want to spend more time with him but always seems to be busy and doesn’t have a minute for you? Then do it for him right away. Instead of waiting for him to be with you, make your own plans and then let him come to you at some point. Plan weekend trips with your girls, get out late, have fun and don’t even think about it. Sooner or later he’ll wonder why you don’t do anything to him anymore and hopefully he’ll show more initiative again and make you his priority.
- Speech is silver, silence is goldDay in and day out you ask him how his day was and you listen to him tell all his stories. But rarely does a counter question arise? If you’ve inadvertently taken the position of listening in a relationship and would like to be asked a lot about your day, stick to the saying “Speak is silver, silence is gold.” Always ask him less, don’t ask more questions and take back part of the speaking part of conversations in this way indicating that you also have something to say.
It is consideredThe best way to change the confusing factors in a relationship is to communicate with them openly and honestly. If you have a healthy, working relationship, you can also express your boundaries honestly without fear of dire consequences. In this article you will discover exactly what is especially important for solving relationship problems: solving relationship problems
Toxic or not: How to recognize a toxic relationship
Power games are an important sign that you are in range toxic relationship Are you. Because if the balance of power is unbalanced, the boundaries of the controlling person (the victim) are frequently ignored by the controller (the ruler) so that they themselves do not know where their limits are. It’s called a toxic relationship When there is a lack of respect One person (or both) was repeatedly hurt and ignored. We’ve put together a complete checklist. Here’s how to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship:
Toxic Relationship Checklist
Even if it seems contradictory: Strength and love belong to each other Like french fries and mayonnaise. But as with many things, there is a great deal but here too: it is important that the balance of power between men and women is balanced and that you met at eye level. Small power games are not dramatic if they are played with a wink and by both partners equally. If an unbalanced power relationship is created from the beginning of the relationship, where one person continues to dominate the other and then the other person slips into a dependency relationship, the relationship can become toxic in the long run.
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The sources used: couple-ehe-beratung.de or-magazin.de