Couples face this problem after viewing RTL

Inka Bause matches farmers around the world.rtl


Stephanie Wichowrick

This year’s edition of “Bauer sucht Frau International” ends on Monday. In the fourth season, four farmers and one farmer from different countries are looking for love. There was Rolinka and Justin from France, Hans from Canada, Rüdiger from South Africa, and Félix from Peru.

Couples who find each other in a television format always have to deal with different problems than couples who fall in love under “normal” circumstances. Also found at “Bauer sucht Frau International” To meet people there who come from different countries and possibly other cultures. In addition, there are language barriers and the fact that you leave your homeland for someone else and move to a distant country.

Watson spoke to communications expert Emmanuel Pavel about these issues. He reveals the problems that couples from “Bauer sucht Frau International” can encounter. It also gives advice on how international relations work.

Husbands of “Bauer sucht Frau International”: an expert who has this fear

In general, Emmanuel Pavel sees the following stumbling block in this context:

“When one partner migrates for the other, asymmetry arises. From their own perspective, one partner achieves more than the other and feels hurt as a result. This creates expectations for the relationship that are difficult to achieve.”

Emmanuel Pavel is a communications coach and coordinator.

Emmanuel Pavel is a communications coach and coordinator.Spread

The more “committed” you are in the relationship, the higher the expectations. If they are disappointed at some point, the relationship can explode, he explains and adds: “All of us want perfect and wonderful love. In order to get them, we often make painful compromises in the hope that they will pay off in the long run.”

Communication is the most important thing

The most specific issue is the potential language barrier. Communication problems that can arise when the woman is from Germany and the man is from France in the current season of the RTL format can be seen in a scene about Justin from France. When the 30-year-old cooks potatoes, Ms. Maureen wants to know if the potatoes are waxy or soft. The Frenchman does not know what North Rhine-Westphalian is getting and continues to stress that potatoes can be boiled. Maureen can only laugh later at this misunderstanding.

Of course, this is a harmless example, but in the context of a relationship, communication problems can also lead to serious crises, as Emmanuel Pavel Watson assures:

“Communication is everything in a relationship. Couples often have to communicate in a language that is not their mother tongue. This makes it difficult to find the right words, especially in emotionally difficult situations. Conflicts escalate because you are misrepresenting yourself, or from the partner being misunderstood.”

Justin France doesn't always understand his women waiting from Germany.

Justin France doesn’t always understand his women waiting from Germany.rtl

The communications expert goes on to explain, “Some things a partner doesn’t understand seem self-evident. This leads to conflicts. Taking a partner’s perspective constantly requires energy, which is often lacking in stressful situations. But if your reaction afterward is upset, conflict can escalate. “In such situations, only one thing helps: patience!” Keeping up with how your partner thinks and feels is key to good communication,” he explains.

“This is not how a strong partnership works”

Another thing you should not underestimate when you participate in “Bauer sucht Frau International”: that you become somewhat dependent on another person.

Let’s take Félix from Peru. His coffee plantation is located in Oxapamba. The flight takes 15 hours from Germany to Peru. From the Peruvian capital Lima to Oxapamba, the trip could easily take as long as we saw in the first episode of this year’s season. The partner who chooses Félix is ​​more likely to live and work on the farm. Pavel Watson said about this:

“First of all, you should honestly ask yourself if you might not even want to depend on your partner. Because dependence leads to certain expectations. And voluntary dependence makes you so weak that you give your partner responsibility for the success of the relationship. With that comes the blame for problems in the relationship.” This is not how a strong partnership works.”

Felix from Peru lives isolated from the outside world.

Felix from Peru lives isolated from the outside world.rtl

So it is a good idea to ask yourself where in life you can take responsibility for yourself and what steps are important to personal and possibly financial independence as well. And also: “With every decision about your independence, you strengthen the foundation for a strong relationship at eye level.”

Everyone knows these problems when dating

Of course, the candidates for “Bauer sucht Frau International” also face problems that everyone knows about from their love life. For example, Nina and Danielle complain about the ladies waiting That their cowboy farmer Hans from Canada is very withdrawn.

According to Emmanuel Pavel, such people are often afraid of being attacked and rejected if they speak out. His advice:

“As a loving partner, you can ease this fear by repeatedly demonstrating to them that the relationship is strong and can also withstand conflict. The more introverted partner realizes they can formulate their needs without causing disaster, the better they can learn to open up.”

According to his Women-in-Wait, Hans from Canada needs to open up more.

According to his Women-in-Wait, Hans from Canada needs to open up more.rtl

Another problem that regularly appears in dating formulas: a person’s heart is broken. Of the current candidates, Ms. Monica reacted most violently to her disapproval. The coffee grower accused Felix of not paying enough attention and “disposing of it in a cool place.”

This reaction does not surprise Pavel: “Everyone wants good explanations when they break up or are rejected, so that they can regain a sense of control over the situation. Rarely can you explain emotional things rationally.” However, he adds, this is not the time for attacks and accusations because: “Everyone has different ways of dealing with it and here it is also important to ask what the other person needs at that moment.” One must communicate their own feelings or lack of feelings and give the other person time and space to deal with and process them.

This year’s “Let’s Dance” season finalists have been decided: Matthias Meester, Janine Ullmann and Renee Caselli compete with their professional dance partners – in addition to many calls, they also hope to get a good rating from the jury. Circus artist Renee has caused quite a stir on the way to the latest edition of the RTL show: With Catherine Menzinger, he always puts amazing moves on stage, and therefore completes the dances.

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